Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
