I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
