the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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