He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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