I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
