Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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