whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
