do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
