Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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