My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
everyone is single if you try hard enough
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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