i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
