Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
