Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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