I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Ketchup is God's man juice
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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