God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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