I'm really into asian looking animals
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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