you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
