so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
