I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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