Where did you get a picture of my penis
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
