hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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