Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
