Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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