now i know why i became what i already was.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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