Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
