it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm gonna fight the coyote
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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