No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
