yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
please come you make the beer taste better
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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