dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
