didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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