She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
