i think my tv is drunk
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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