I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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