he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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