Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
