There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
