My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
