I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
