Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
