she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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