she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
