Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
