Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
