Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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