nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
