I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
