i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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