I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
