He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
