well I can't set my house on fire every night
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
